Post by capney on May 11, 2011 13:37:37 GMT
A family member uncovered this ancient document the other day. It is causing a few laughs amongst the younger generation.
I have retyped as a word doc and present it to you here.
It concerns my return from the Far East Air Force in 1966
............................................................................................
Notice of Return
ISSUED in solemn warning that.....SAC Gipson R... will be heading west during ...DEC....1066
1 To the neighbors, friends and relatives of the above mentioned. Lock your daughters in their room, fill the ice- box with Tiger Beer, and get those civvies out of the moth balls.
2 Very soon the above mentioned will once again be in your midst. Dehydrated and demoralized, to take his place as a human being, with freedom and justice for all time; liberated and somewhat delayed pursuit of happiness. In making your joyous preparations for his welcome back to organized society, you must make allowances for the crude environments which have been his for the past 2.5 years. In other words, he may be a little Asiatic; suffering from Malaysiitus or a little to much Ching Ping.
3 Therefore, show no alarm if he squats on his haunches instead of on a chair. Insists on taking his shoes off before entering the house, or has the tendency to walk around the house wearing only a bath towel, keep cool if he pours gravy on his dessert, or mixes peaches with his mashed potatoes. Do not let it shake you if he insists on sleeping in the nude. Do not let it worry you if, on answering the phone his says “SELAMAT PAGI” instead of “Good morning” or “SELEMAT TERRCAT” instead of “GOODBYE”, and tends to bow when saying “HELLO” to someone. If on finishing his meal, he takes a few slices of bread and butter and goes to his room to lie on his bed and eat it whilst reading a book, do not worry for it is an old RAF custom. Should he, in the mornings, awaken early and complete a scanty toilet, then rush downstairs and stand erect on the lawn with his feet exactly 12” apart, gently lead him back to the house with repeated exhortations “Stay in bed dear, Father doesn`t want a muster this morning.”
If at mealtimes his methods of using a knife and fork are reminiscent of the “navvy” using a pick and shovel, pay no attention; he will soon realize that he is once again in the presence of human beings and not a collection of names and numbers.
4 In a relatively short time he can taught to speak English and to sit upon a chair again. Never ask him why the boy down the road has a higher rank than his, or make flattering remarks about the Army, Navy or S.A.S. In his presence, as this will have a jarring effect on him.
5 For the first few months, until he becomes home-broken, be especially careful when he is among women, especially if they are young and beautiful. After seeing such women wooed on the flicks by handsome hunk of a man, he thinks he is a master of the art himself. His intentions, though sincere, will be dishonorable. If whilst walking down the street he howls dog-like at the sight of a shapely leg, pay no heed; he is love-sick and sex-starved. If on telling a perfectly respectable shop-keeper that he`s a “black robbing blankety-blank”. Explain the situation to the shop-keeper and get him out of the shop with the minimum of fuss. Keep in mind that beneath his sun-tanned and rugged exterior there beats a heart of gold. Treasure this as it the only thing of value he has left.
6 Treat him with kindness and tolerance, plus an occasional bottle of beer, and you will be able to re-habilitate that which is the hollow shell of the man you once knew.
I am your obedient servant
Wing Commander
Command Rehabilitation Center
Far East Air Force
I have retyped as a word doc and present it to you here.
It concerns my return from the Far East Air Force in 1966
............................................................................................
Notice of Return
ISSUED in solemn warning that.....SAC Gipson R... will be heading west during ...DEC....1066
1 To the neighbors, friends and relatives of the above mentioned. Lock your daughters in their room, fill the ice- box with Tiger Beer, and get those civvies out of the moth balls.
2 Very soon the above mentioned will once again be in your midst. Dehydrated and demoralized, to take his place as a human being, with freedom and justice for all time; liberated and somewhat delayed pursuit of happiness. In making your joyous preparations for his welcome back to organized society, you must make allowances for the crude environments which have been his for the past 2.5 years. In other words, he may be a little Asiatic; suffering from Malaysiitus or a little to much Ching Ping.
3 Therefore, show no alarm if he squats on his haunches instead of on a chair. Insists on taking his shoes off before entering the house, or has the tendency to walk around the house wearing only a bath towel, keep cool if he pours gravy on his dessert, or mixes peaches with his mashed potatoes. Do not let it shake you if he insists on sleeping in the nude. Do not let it worry you if, on answering the phone his says “SELAMAT PAGI” instead of “Good morning” or “SELEMAT TERRCAT” instead of “GOODBYE”, and tends to bow when saying “HELLO” to someone. If on finishing his meal, he takes a few slices of bread and butter and goes to his room to lie on his bed and eat it whilst reading a book, do not worry for it is an old RAF custom. Should he, in the mornings, awaken early and complete a scanty toilet, then rush downstairs and stand erect on the lawn with his feet exactly 12” apart, gently lead him back to the house with repeated exhortations “Stay in bed dear, Father doesn`t want a muster this morning.”
If at mealtimes his methods of using a knife and fork are reminiscent of the “navvy” using a pick and shovel, pay no attention; he will soon realize that he is once again in the presence of human beings and not a collection of names and numbers.
4 In a relatively short time he can taught to speak English and to sit upon a chair again. Never ask him why the boy down the road has a higher rank than his, or make flattering remarks about the Army, Navy or S.A.S. In his presence, as this will have a jarring effect on him.
5 For the first few months, until he becomes home-broken, be especially careful when he is among women, especially if they are young and beautiful. After seeing such women wooed on the flicks by handsome hunk of a man, he thinks he is a master of the art himself. His intentions, though sincere, will be dishonorable. If whilst walking down the street he howls dog-like at the sight of a shapely leg, pay no heed; he is love-sick and sex-starved. If on telling a perfectly respectable shop-keeper that he`s a “black robbing blankety-blank”. Explain the situation to the shop-keeper and get him out of the shop with the minimum of fuss. Keep in mind that beneath his sun-tanned and rugged exterior there beats a heart of gold. Treasure this as it the only thing of value he has left.
6 Treat him with kindness and tolerance, plus an occasional bottle of beer, and you will be able to re-habilitate that which is the hollow shell of the man you once knew.
I am your obedient servant
Wing Commander
Command Rehabilitation Center
Far East Air Force
